An Average Day on the Spaceship
by It's The Krys
Summary: What goes on in the aliens' ship when they AREN'T thinking up new ways to kill the Mew Mews.
1. This sure is a chapter!

KrysOfDeath: …I HATE EVERYTHING! .

Kish: o.o! Even ME?! (pout)

KrysOfDeath: …I hate ALMOST everything! .

Kish: (nod, nod) That's better.

KrysOfDeath: My ENTIRE freakin' account on this site was removed for NO GOD DAMN REASON! It PISSES ME OFF! ((screams))

Kish: ...You had it coming. u.u;

KrysOfDeath: ...Yeah, well anyways, I've started resubmitting my fanfics, along with new ones so people don't just think I'm a fic-theif running around with my own username. xD

Kish: O.o;

AVERAGE DAY ON THE SPACESHIP

Pai and Taruto sat at a small table, bored looks on their faces. There were loud slamming noises in the background. Pai sighed. "Hurry up," he said.

Taruto rolled his eyes and looked down at his hand. "Um…got any threes?"

"No."

"You-" Taruto paused as Kish leapt over the table, swinging wildly at some small object, then tripping and falling flat on his face. That being over, Taruto continued. "You liar! You asked me for a three last round!"

Pai crossed his arms. "Did not!" he snapped in annoyance.

"Pai! DON'T MOVE! It's on your head!" Kish whacked Pai over the head with a rolled up stack of papers. "Damn it! You moved! It's getting away!" The green-haired alien ran off, not noticing the death glares Pai was giving him.

Taruto threw the cards he was holding down. "I quit! You're always cheating!" With that, the boy stalked off to gorge on the candy he'd stolen from Purin. Pai sighed in exasperation. A few minutes later Kish ran by and the older alien snatched his ribbons, forcing poor Kish to fall face-first to the floor again.

"God DAMN it, Pai! I almost had it!" Kish whined.

"Stop being such a moron. It's just a-"

Pai was cut off as Taruto went by screaming wildly about barbecue sauce flavored shampoo, as he was now high on candy. Kish stared after him with a bored look on his face. "Purin's having a bad influence on him…"

(LATER)

Pai and Taruto sat at a small table, glaring at each other. Kish, yet again, leapt over the table, attempting to catch…whatever it was. Pai blinked in surprise. "HA! You blinked! I win!" Taruto yelled. "I won fair and square!"

Pai stared at him for a moment, then sighed and rolled his eyes. "Uh-huh, sure."

(LATER)

Taruto was laying on the floor reading a magazine he'd stolen from Kish (you don't want to know what's in that magazine, people, believe me), while Pai was adding up percentages. "Damn it. One hundred again…" Pai muttered in annoyance.

"Pai, no matter how many times you add up those percentages, you'll ALWAYS get one hundred," Taruto replied lazily, turning the page of the magazine.

"…Shut up. I'm trying to disprove that theory."

"Sure, whatever…Why does Kish HAVE this magazine???"

(LATER)

"Do you think he's gotten it yet?" Pai asked Taruto, watching Kish run around in circles.

"Probably not," Taruto responded. He looked down at the magazine in his lap. "I'm still trying to figure out why Kish has this thing…"

SPLAT!

Pai and Taruto exchanged glances as Kish started laughing maniacally. "Well…he got it."

"HA! I told you I could get it! But NO! You didn't believe me! See, it IS possible to smash a fly without a fly-swatter! HA! IN YOUR FACE!" Kish shouted, waving the poor, flattened creature insanely.

Pai sighed and shook his head. "Okay, you proved us wrong, now…go wash your hands."

"Yeah, yeah, sure."

(LATER)

"KIIIIIIISH! Why do you HAVE this thing?!" Taruto waved the magazine he'd stolen.

Kish scowled at him. "Didn't you ask me this SAME question YESTERDAY?! Look, I happen to like that magazine, now give it BACK!" There was a brief moment of struggling for the magazine in which Taruto nearly got his pigtails cut off. Unfortunately, he managed to dodge at the last second and keep his hair the way it was, and fortunately, Kish got his magazine back.

"You only like it because it's got pictures of cute girls!"

"Cute girls in waitress outfits!" Kish retorted, waving it. "And that's not the only reason! It's got all the secret recipes!"

Taruto stared at him for a moment, then snatched the magazine back, skimming through it. "Ah…what do you know! Keiichiro's secret recipe for 'upside-down pineapple cake'!" Taruto blinked, then turned to Kish. "So you DIDN'T just buy this cuz it's got pictures of Ichigo in it!" Kish took that moment to face-vault dramatically.

(A/N: The magazine is about Café Mew-Mew, in case you didn't figure it out. XD)

(LATER)

Pai sat at the small table from earlier on in the chapter, entering numbers into a small computer. "DAMN IT!" he yelled suddenly, causing Kish and Taruto to freak out momentarily. "…I got one hundred again."

The two other aliens exchanged glances, then shook their heads sympathetically. "He'll never disprove that theory," Kish said in mock sadness.

END OF CHAPTER!

KrysOfDeath: Will Taruto ever beat Pai at cards? Will Pai EVER figure out how to disprove the hundred percent theory?

Kish: Will I ever get it into your head that there's no such THING as the hundred percent theory?

KrysOfDeath: Will Kish ever get it into my head that - HEY! (glares at Kish)

Kish: (rolls eyes)

KrysOfDeath: … (sigh) Whatever. ((ahem)) If you were one of my previous readers...sorry, but...Meh. This site seems to hate me. ((sobs)) But I'm reuploading everything to this site, along with new stuff, so don't be upset! n.n

Kish: ((scoffs)) Why would they be? u.u;

KrysOfDeath: u.u ... ((whacks Kish with newspaper))

Kish: OW! ((insert random adult word here)) x.x


	2. Oh boy, what's all THIS madness?

Yes, I could have updated this earlier, as it has in fact been completed for the past kajillion years. But I have a life, and also, I'm terribly lazy. There's a paradox to be had here somewhere... :D

Would have edited to make it better-like, but despite it being written ages ago, I actually rather still like it. So, no edits for you. Maybe for the other chapters. _Maybe_. If I even bother to post them. I'm such a lazy Krys, la dee da!

**AVERAGE DAY ON THE SPACESHIP (CHAPTER TWO!!!)**

"Ten…fifteen…forty…eight…thirteen…two… PLEASE don't be a… DAMN IT!!!" Pai pulled at his hair in frustration. "I got one hundred..._again_…" he mumbled, putting his head down on his percentage papers to sulk. Kish and Taruto exchanged disturbed looks before returning to the game they were now playing.

Kish moved a piece over to the right a bit. "…Check."

"You SUCK, Kish!" Taruto snapped, moving his king out of the way of danger. "No check! So THERE!" Kish stared at the board for a few minutes, as though mesmerized by all the beautiful black and white boxes that somehow reminded one of a tiled kitchen floor.

Well…Kish WAS pretty hungry right now…

Reaching down, the green-haired alien moved his bishop up diagonally and set it down. Finally, after a long silence, he repeated, "Check."

"AAAAAAAARGH!!!" Taruto moved his king again. "Leave my king alone!!!"

Kish rolled his eyes. "I WOULD, but that's the only piece you have LEFT. It ain't MY fault you suck at this game."

(LATER)

"I STILL don't get this," Taruto muttered, glaring down at the chessboard.

"That's nice." Kish moved some nondescript chess piece. "…Checkmate."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!"

(LATER)

A perfectly LOVELY smell was coming from the ship's kitchen. Drooling, a very hungry Taruto and a near starving Kish hurried towards it and opened the door to find… Pai attempting to control his over-reacting mold experiment, which had most likely begun attempting communication. Appetites now gone, the two younger aliens hurried out the door with rather freaked-out looks on their faces.

"Now what?" Taruto asked.

Kish shrugged. "Rematch?"

"Nah. We've played ten games of chess already. How about BS?"

"Kinda hard to play that with two people."

"Hn. Point taken. How about…"

"A few hundred more rounds of Rock Paper Scissors? I think not."

(LATER)

"Rock, Paper, SCISSORS! …Rock, Paper, SCISSORS!"

(LATER)

Pai glanced at the cards he was holding, then across the table at Kish. "…Got any twos?"

Kish responded by giving him a weird look. "We're not playing Go Fish, you idiot." He set down a few cards in the middle of the table. "Three sevens."

"Three sevens, eh? Well, guess what I have to say to that? BS!" Pai snapped.

Kish flipped over the cards to reveal…three sevens. "There ya go, pal. Happy birthday!" he exclaimed in a forcefully cheerful tone while sliding the pile of cards towards Pai, who merely gave him and the cards annoyed looks.

"…It's not my birthday."

"Happy Halloween?"

"It's not Halloween yet." Pai gave Kish a look that suggested that the lavender-haired alien SERIOUSLY wanted to shove a calendar or two down the younger alien's throat.

"…Happy Thanksgiving?"

"That's AFTER Halloween." Make that three calendars.

"Merry Christmas!"

"…It's not Christmas either."

"Happy Kwanzaa?"

Pai raised an eyebrow. "We don't even celebrate Kwanzaa."

"Didn't we last year?"

"That's not the point."

"Right. Happy Hanukkah!" Kish once again attempted to slide the pile of cards to Pai, who refused to take them as a present for a holiday that hadn't even come around and probably didn't even have anything to do with present-giving in the FIRST place. "Uh…er…HAPPY UN-BIRTHDAY!"

"DAMN IT!" Pai finally took the cards, as he didn't really have a comeback to counteract 'Happy Un-Birthday', since it was relatively true.

Taruto shook his head. "You two are pathetic."

(LATER)

"It's an…it's an…airplane!" Taruto exclaimed. Kish shook his head. "A fish?" Kish shook his head again. "Oh! I got it! It's Star Wars, isn't it?!" Kish gave him a look that seemed to ask 'What the hell are YOU on?'

Pai decided to join in. "It's Kish doing some stupid charades thing."

"About TIME someone figured it out!" Kish snapped.

**END OF CHAPTER TWO!**

Krys: Now praise me, I updated! 8D


	3. A hundred percent average mmhmm

And now I have returned with chapter three. This one was actually edited from its original version and fixed up to be better-like. Clearly, the end of the world is coming.

**CHAPTER THREE! Hooraaaaaay...**

It was dark in the room, incredibly so, but that was to be expected, as all of the lights were turned off. Rooms DO tend to be dark when the lights aren't on. But anyways, Kish and Taruto were hiding behind a spiffy futuristic couch in the dark room, waiting for a certain unsuspecting someone to come in.

Finally, the door slid open with a slight whoosh. "Kish? Taruto? You're skipping out on your math lessons again! I've warned you about that!" Pai snapped, stepping into the room and flicking the light switch.

As soon as the lights turned on, tons of balloons burst into the air and confetti rained from the ceiling. Kish and Taruto jumped up. "_SURPRISE_! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they shouted gleefully, waving banners and bouncing up and down like utter sugar-crazed maniacs. Pai merely stood staring at them, his expression blank. Then, he slapped a hand to his forehead.

"This _again_? You did the same thing _yesterday_, aren't you _bored _of it yet? ……You better clean all this up!"

(LATER)

"Taruto…?" Kish asked. Silence responded. "…Taruto?" More silence, this time with extra silence on the side. "TARUTO!"

"WHAT?!" Taruto shrieked, smashing his fists on the table.

Kish blinked at the rather violent reply, then sighed and rested his chin in his palm. "…I'm BORED."

"Good for you," the younger alien snapped in annoyance.

(LATER)

Kish stared at the computer screen, unblinkingly. Images flashed around on the screen, but otherwise nothing much of interest seemed to be going on. Taruto walked in, then looked over Kish's shoulder. "What are you doing?"

Kish didn't answer for a moment, then he mumbled, "I'm watching my Sim watch TV." Taruto blinked, then merely stared at Kish in confusion.

"You're... Wow, you really _are_ bored."

The other alien just nodded, then, after a long silence, he asked dully, "Want to watch me watch my Sim watch TV?"

"I _guess_ so. It's not like I have anything better to do."

Elsewhere, Pai was searching the ship, grumbling in irritation at the fact that his younger coworkers were – yet again – hiding from him. Why did they hate their math lessons so much?!

(LATER)

"Is this right?" Kish asked.

"Right more," Taruto replied, waving his hand in that direction.

"So this is right."

Taruto rolled his eyes. "No, no, more to the right!"

"I'm right. Okay, got it."

"_NO_! MOVE TO THE RIGHT!" Taruto waved his hand again, and Kish scooted over a bit. "No, no, no! The other right, the OTHER right! MY right!" Kish groaned and scooted the other way. "Yeah, yeah. That's right."

"More to the right?" Kish tilted his head a bit, confused. "Make up your mind!"

Taruto slapped his forehead with his palm. "No, no, it's fine right there, leave it!" Kish set the object he'd been carrying down. Taruto put a hand to his chin and tilted his head, thinking. "Actually…I think it was better a little more to the _left_…" Kish growled in irritation and pulled it left a little bit. "Yeah. That's good."

Kish stepped back to stand beside Taruto, staring at the object. "SO…Pai won't mind if we play here in his lab, will he?"

"It's the only place in the ship big enough for a basketball court! Of COURSE he won't mind! Now let's go get the other hoop."

(LATER)

"KISH! TARUTO! What the _hell_ is this…this THING doing in here?!"

(LATER)

Pai slowly dragged the portable basketball hoop down the hall, grumbling about immature aliens and stupid human games. Kish and Taruto came around the corner then, saw him, and immediately ran up to him. "Man, Pai, why in the hell did you move it?! It took us ten freakin' MINUTES to get it set up and we still haven't got the other one up yet!" Kish complained.

"Deal with it!" Pai snapped irritably, tugging at the hoop, which was pretty much _refusing_ to move. Kish and Taruto exchanged glances before they both scoffed and walked off to find something else to do.

(LATER)

"Hey, Kish?" Taruto drawled as he doodled a strange-looking creature on a piece of paper he'd stolen from Pai's office.

"…Hmm? Yeah, what do you want?"

"What's sex?"

The question took a moment to register in Kish's brain. "………! Whaaaa_aaaaaaa_-?" The freaked out look on the green-haired alien's face was priceless. Really. Needless to say, Taruto's only answer was embarrassed sputtering and random noises, so he was forever left to wonder…

(LATER)

"Pai…?"

"What do you want, Taruto?"

"What's sex?"

"………...Go ask Kish."

Like I said, forever left to wonder.

(LATER)

"Hey, Pai?" Taruto asked, standing outside of a steel door. Pai responded with a mumble, so Taruto pushed open the metal door and stepped inside the older alien's office. "Hey, I'm gonna go out for a while. Just gonna bug Ichigo for a while."

Pai waved a hand lazily, not quite listening. "Yeah, yeah. Maybe one of your plots to get her to go out with you will work this time." Taruto merely stared at him, a disturbed look on his face.

"Pai…that's _Kish_ you're thinking about…not _me_…"

(LATER)

Taruto sighed. "One hundred seven," Kish mumbled under his breath. "You're REALLY bored, aren't you?"

"If you couldn't tell…"

"Why didn't you go and bother Ichigo like you told Pai you were going to?" Taruto sighed again. "One hundred eight."

Taruto gave Kish an annoyed look. "Well…Pai's gotten too used to having _you_ tell him that you're going to bother Ichigo, so he thought I was you and so he _also _thought that I…er…_you_ were going to go ask her out again or something." Kish blinked, then burst out laughing. "It's not _funny_, Kish!"

"Ha! Of course it is! Anyway, it _has_ been a while, so I guess I'd better go bother her in your place!" Kish decided, standing up and leaping into the air. A second later, he vanished, and Taruto was left to sigh his one hundred and ninth sigh and wait for Kish to come back.

(ELSEWHERE)

Ichigo, eyes closed and seated on a folding chair on her balcony, waved a fan slowly. "It's…so…HOT…" she whined, reclining back in the chair and adjusting the yellow sunhat she was wearing.

"Well, considering how hot it is, you shouldn't be wearing all those clothes, then!" Ichigo jumped at the voice, sitting up and looking around in shock, then realized that Kish was floating by her balcony, his arms resting on the railing as he watched her. "Hey, my little kitten," he greeted, grinning at her.

Ichigo groaned and flopped back into her chair, not caring that her short white dress was probably revealing just a little more than it should. Let Kish see, it didn't matter. She'd just beat the hell out of him for it later. "I don't have the energy to deal with you right now…Go away…" Kish chuckled and drifted up a bit so he could stand on the rail, then hopped off to land in front of Ichigo.

"Aww, but why? It's been a while since I've seen you!"

"You saw me yesterday, don't give me that crap," Ichigo muttered, pulling the sunhat over her face just in case Kish decided to kiss her, as he usually did.

Kish let out a little sound that was halfway between a snort and a snicker. "Nice dress," he commented, leaning down to pull the hem up a bit with a sly grin on his face. "Pink lace with bows. Cute." Ichigo merely slapped at his hand lazily and grumbled at him to go away; there was no point in trying to muster up anger in this exhausting heat, and he'd been joking, anyway. "Hn…so _that's_ where it is…"

"Where WHAT is?" Ichigo asked wearily, pulling her hat off her face so as to better pin him with an odd look.

He pointed to her thigh, smirking. "Your Mew marking. Ha! Now that I've found it, Taruto owes me ten bucks!" Kish cackled, jumping into the air. "See ya!"

Ichigo sat up, staring at him in disbelief. "What? But you didn't even try to-!" Before she could even finish, he'd already teleported, and she sat there just gaping for a while until finally she simply laid back down, shrugged, and pulled the hat back down over her face. "...Yeah, okay. Whatever."

((BACK ON THE SHIP))

Taruto was having quite the lovely nap, right at the same table they typically used for all their silly card games.

At least he _was_ having a lovely nap, right at that table of card-game madness, until Kish decided to use his head as an armrest. "OW! Get off me!" the kid complained sleepily, flailing at him in anger.

"Guess whaaaat?" Kish responded in a sing-song voice.

"I don't care! Go away!"

"Nope, not happening; I found Ichigo's Mew marking!"

Taruto groaned in exasperation, forehead thudding against the table. "I don't caaaaare..." he whined, arms coming up to hide his face. Kish rolled his eyes.

"We had a deal! You owe me ten bucks!"

"I don't even _have_ ten bucks!"

"...WHAT."

Taruto sat up, looking very concerned all of a sudden. "Uh, well-" He swallowed nervously, eyes darting around, before he explained frantically, "It's not my fault, I swear! It was all that insane _Purin _girl, she said she had this miracle water, and I thought it was a Mew Aqua so I asked her if she'd sell it to me, and she said she would, but after I'd given her my money she told me it was just regular water and that it was the little _pills_ she was selling that were magical, and not the water she was pouring on them. There was this one pill that turned into a giant _sponge_ if you poured water on it, it was _crazy_! ...Um...Kish?"

Unsurprisingly, Kish had lost interest halfway through his explanation, and had already left.

((LATER))

"Hey, Pai?"

"What, Taruto?"

"Um, I'm Kish, not Taruto," Kish corrected him, and Pai glanced up from his paperwork.

After a long moment of silence, the older alien concluded, "Oh, yes. You are Kish. ...Though, if I may say so, there's really not much difference." Wisely, Kish decided to ignore this.

"Can I have ten bucks?"

"............Go ask Taruto."

**END OF CHAPTER I GUESS THIS IS THREE**

**YEAH, IT'S THREE**

**AND NOW IT'S OVER**

I need to stop abusing the caps lock.


End file.
